Upgrading The Trojan Horse: The Trojan Diplodocus

Troy, 1200 BCE. The siege has dragged on for a decade. The Greeks are bored. The Trojans are smug. And "Tanchilles" and "Keonkeles" have just arrived with modern minds, Bronze Age materials, and a burning question: what if the Trojan Horse wasn't a horse at all?

Keon has never heard of the Trojan War and thinks Achilles is a job title ("Achilles, like he kills"), while Tan brings a C in design technology GCSE. Armed with these credentials, they compete to build history's greatest deception. Their proposals range from the Trojan Diplodocus to the Trojan kebab van, and Game Master Claude in full science-obsessed mode ruthlessly fact-checks every pitch against what Bronze Age craftsmen could actually build. No dinosaurs, no advanced metallurgy, just timber, rope, and increasingly desperate ingenuity.

The Trojan War, if it happened, likely took place around 1200 BCE at the site now identified as Hisarlik in modern Turkey. Homer's account gave us the original Trojan Horse. PastMaster's version involves two blokes whose combined engineering credentials amount to a C grade and some scones, trying to improve on one of history's most famous military deceptions.

Contains: Competitive siege warfare design, rejected dinosaur proposals, and a Game Master with very strong opinions about anachronisms.