
Headbutting into the Viking Times
Gamla Uppsala • Sweden • ~850 CE
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Scandinavia, circa 850 AD. The Viking Age is at its peak, longships are terrorising the coasts of Europe, and Keon's just arrived with one goal: be worshipped as a god. His opening move? Walk up to a rival chieftain called Bjorn, shout "what are you looking at?", and headbutt him in the face. Subtle, it is not.
Styling himself as "Jarl Olaf," Keon's approach to Viking politics is pure aggression. His economic policy is communist redistribution where he keeps most of the gold. His diplomatic strategy is headbutting. His relationship with rival chieftain Bjorn is deteriorating at a speed that impresses even the Game Master, who this week has been instructed to channel Malcolm Tucker from The Thick of It. Whether Scandinavian warrior culture can survive Keon's particular brand of leadership remains to be seen.
The Viking Age saw Scandinavian raiders and settlers reshape the map of Europe, from the monasteries of Lindisfarne to the courts of Constantinople. Jarls rose and fell on the strength of their raids and their reputation. The idea that you could headbutt your way to the top isn't historically inaccurate so much as historically on-brand.